Postpartum Truths: Pt. 1

There are so many things I felt no one told me about postpartum life; granted I didn't know to ask. Starting this week I am going to briefly touch on some body functions/issues I experienced after having Ezra.

*Disclaimer! If you are squeamish about bodily functions or talk of nursing these posts may not be for you*

Stitches.

While giving birth I tore in two separate places. My biggest fear of natural birth was tearing; maybe in my mind it made the process that much more painful. However, I had a second degree vaginal tear as well as second degree perineal tear, and clearly didn't realize it until after I was asked to lay down and my midwife informed me that they needed to numb me to do a few stitches. I wish I could go back and tell myself that tearing was not the worst of it. There were much harder parts that I will talk about in the future, one of them being the transition stage of labor.

I'll not know if it took longer to heal because I tore or not (although I am sure it did). Moving caused pain, literally, anything other than lying down hurt like hell; I was so swollen and bruised the slightest shift in weight was an issue, or even walking.

I was so impatient with myself during this time. I was hardly ever comfortable, sitting was the worst, although I had to sit to nurse Ezra. I wanted so badly to get back into yoga, or to even have the energy to go on walks. I became even more downhearted seeing other women I know who gave birth (after me) taking their sweet babes on walks just a few weeks, or even days after giving birth.

It was one of the biggest blows to my ego.

I truthfully cannot say whether healing was more of a mind or body issue, but I can say I had absolutely no grace for myself during this time and it made it that much harder.

So if nothing you do nothing else during this time, more than anything, give yourself some grace and love, momma.

Try not to compare yourself. No birth is the same, no experience is the same, no body, no mind; we are all different. However, I do believe there is one area we could all improve on - we need to give ourselves grace to just rest, to heal and to breathe.

*side note: I did not believe my nurse when she told me to sit in a bath, I even avoided it because it sounded so painful. Once I finally gave in (after we were home), I took a "sitz bath" almost everyday at some point. If you haven't heard of a sitz bath there are actual plastic tubs that fit over your toilet seat, however, I opted to use my actual bathtub. For my sitz bath I used only hot water the first week or so. Once I started to feel better I incorporated epsom salts to help with hemorrhoids, but also for general relaxation.

*Second side note: Take all of the things they give you at the hospital! The spray bottle, the pads, underwear, witch hazel pads, etc. It saves money and help immensely! Look up DIY on "frozen pads" before you give birth! Make some and stash them in your freezer. I was wishing I had done something! It may seem crazy, but the ice pads the nurses made me in the hospital were the only things that helped to alleviate what felt like constant pain and discomfort.

Please let me know if you have any questions on any subjects! I am wanting to do a Q&A styled post one day a week and I would love to interact with you all more!